Slow Goodbye
by Heather1989
Summary: I cant make you love me when you dont. Rachel is in love with Noah but he just wants friends with benefits. Will he finally realize that he might love her too or will it be too late?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING THE MUSIC OR GLEE… = (

Slow goodbye….

Rachel POV

"ok guys your assignment for the week was to come up with a song that you felt shows what you're feeling right now, so who wants to go first?" Mr. Schuester asked while standing in the front of the glee room.

"I'll go first Mr. Schuester." Rachel said while getting up from her chair. She knew what she was going to sing and she knew the reason and he was sitting in the back of them room.

Noah Puckerman had broken my heart and he didn't even know it. We were what he liked to call "friends with benefits" I hated that term it reminded me that he only wanted me for one thing. I wish I didn't but I can't help that I fell in love with him. That was one of our rules from the very start to not get emotional. At first I didn't think it would be a problem. This was just supposed to be something that helped us get over Quinn and Finn. And it worked, or at least it did for me but it seems that it didn't for him. The worst part about it is when we are done with each other, when we say goodbye it breaks my heart every time. I got to the front of the classroom and sat in the stool in the middle of the room. I slowly looked up at the glee club and started to sing.

**I can read the lines  
On your face  
And they're telling me  
Everything I already know  
Yeah  
I hold you in my arms  
But your light-years away from me  
Slowly sinking  
Under alone  
Yeah  
So I act cool  
On the outside  
But it's eating me  
Alive  
**

I looked up and seen Noah staring at me with confusion in his eyes. He probably thinks I am singing this about Finn if only he knew….

**Cuz when it comes to you  
There's nothing I can do  
I can't make you love me  
When you don't  
I see it in your eyes  
All the compromise  
I can't take another  
Slow goodbye**

Sitting in the park  
After dark  
Smoking cigarettes  
Biting on the black of my nails  
Cuz all I ever wanted  
Was what you took away from me  
Trying to make it right  
But it's too late  
I'm a hopeless case  
On the inside  
And it's eating me  
Alive

Cuz when it comes to you  
There's nothing I can do  
I can't make you love me  
When you don't  
I see it in your eyes  
All the compromise  
I can't take another  
Slow goodbye  


I looked up and stared Noah right in the eyes while singing this next verse. I put everything I had into this and I hope he got the message. He was staring at me but I couldn't read the expression on his face.

**I die  
A million times  
Every time when you  
Look me in the eye  
Die  
Cuz I've heard it all before  
The same game  
Going around and around  
But I still end up with nothing  
But hurting**

Cuz when it comes to you  
There's nothing I can do  
I can't make you love me  
When you don't  
I see it in your eyes  
All the compromise  
I can't take another  
Slow goodbye  
Yeah  
There's nothing I can do  
I can't make you love me  
When you don't  
I see it in your eyes  
All the compromise  
I can't take another  
Slow goodbye

By the end of the song I could barely hold it together. I slowly got up from my seat and looked back at Noah he was looking down. I knew he didn't feel the same way about me and it just broke my heart into a million pieces. He had become my best friend over these past few months. That's why I decided I needed to stop this, friends with benefits thing to rest. I couldn't take the pain anymore of wanting more but knowing I can't have it. I decided that I couldn't be in the same room with him for much longer.

"Mr. Schuester may I be excused I am not feeling too well?" Rachel asked with pleading eyes.

"Yea Rachel that's fine. Will you be able to get home alright?" Mr. Schuester asked with concern obvious in his tone.

"Um…do you think you could let…" Rachel seen Noah sit up in his seat thinking I was going to ask if he could give me a ride. "..Quinn go so she could give me a ride, I don't have my car with me today?" I seen Noah sit back and I looked at him. The look in his eyes I could read maybe it was disappointment or anger?

"Yea that's fine you girls may go be careful. And Rachel feel better." Mr. Schuester called as me and Quinn walked from the room. When we finally got to the car I seen I had a text from Noah.

N: we need 2 talk.

I just closed the text and put my phone in my purse. Quinn and I had yet to say anything to each other. We didn't talk until we were about half way to my house.

"So how long have you been in love with him?" Quinn asked while taking a quick glance at me before looking back at the road.

"What are you talking about Quinn?" I asked trying not to look her in the eyes and give myself away.

"You know what I am talking about Rachel. You are in love with Noah and you have been since you guys started this stupid agreement. Everyone in glee sees it rach." Quinn said while giving me a sad smile.

"Well apparently not everyone sees it Quinn. Everyone but the one person who I want to see it." Rachel exclaimed while running her hand through her hair. She was beyond frustrated if everyone in glee could see she loved him then why couldn't he see it?

"Rach noah is stupid. He probably knows it but he mistakes it for lust or something. You are the best friend he has ever had and I mean the BEST. He probably is afraid to ruin that." Quinn explained to me.

"I don't know Quinn but this is killing me this whole pretending to not have any feeling for him. I can't pretend I don't love him anymore. I'm done holding my feeling back." Rachel screamed.

"Okay Rachel calm down. I know exactly what you need. A girls night out, I will send a text to all the girls, so let's get you home and get you ready because tonight we are going to help you forget about Noah Puckerman." Quinn said with a smile while pulling into Rachel's drive way.

"Quinn, are you sure this is a good idea? Noah and I have movie night tonight and I have never missed one of our nights together." Rachel asked nervously. She didn't like the look on Quinn face. It was the look she got when she was up to something.

"Yea rach I'm sure, all the girls are in and they are going to be here around 7. Brittany and Santana are on their was now though." Quinn explained while walking towards Rachel's house.

"Why are they coming over so early? Its only 4pm?" Rachel asked confused.

"Because Rachel we are going to make you forget about Noah and then we are going to show him what he is missing. Rachel berry you are about to get the makeover of your life." Quinn said with a smirk on her face.

Noah POV

I was totally confused while Rachel sang that song. I'm guessing it was about Finn but she kept staring at me with what looked like love in her eyes? No it couldn't be I know she loved me like a friend but nothing more we made a promise that we wouldn't get emotional with each other. I love rach like a friend too and don't get me wrong the sex was great (of course it is I'm Noah Puckerman) but I'm starting to think that it is ruining our relationship as friends. Rach is my best friend and I don't want anything to ruin that. When she left and asked Quinn for a ride instead of me I felt hurt. I know we had plans for tonight but I love spending time with her and I wouldn't have minded leaving glee early. But there is just something about that song that she sang that makes me think. I sent her a text telling her we needed to talk and she hasn't replied yet. I hope she is okay. I know she wasn't sick she has been fine all day. Something happened and I was determined to get to the bottom of it. I jumped a little when I felt my phone vibrating against my leg. I grabbed it quick hoping it was a text from rach telling me to come over. A smile spread across my face when I see her name on the screen. It quickly fell when I read the message she sent.

R: plans r cancelled for tonight.

That's wasn't like Rachel at all. She never cancelled on me, now I was really starting to get worried. I tried calling her but she sent me straight to voicemail. I also tried Quinn but hers went straight to voicemail also. Fuck I need to get a hold of her and find out what's wrong. I was thinking about going over there when I received another text. This one was from Quinn.

Quinn: puck just leave Rachel alone for the night.

I was shocked when I read that text and after that I didn't know what to say. I didn't think I did anything to upset Rachel but I guess I was wrong.

Tell me what you think! The song belongs to Leslie Roy I am just borrowing! And for some reason I think you guys know who glee belongs to! =)

Heather….


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING! ENJOY AND REVIEW…=)

Slow Goodbye: Chapter 2

Noah POV

I haven't seen or talked to Rachel since Friday after the glee incident. She wouldn't answer my calls or respond to my texts. I knew she wasn't like dead or something because the last time I called Quinn to ask about her I could hear her laughter in the background. I didn't realize how much I depended on Rachel until now. I miss her laugh especially and her smile. It was now Monday morning and I was determined to find her and get to the bottom of this. So when I heard her laughter drifting down the hall was I got a huge smile on my face. I also got a weird feeling in my stomach I wanted to call it butterflies but I'm a badass and badasses don't get the butterflies only chicks do. I turned around and to say I was shocked at what I seen would be the understatement of the year. It wasn't the same Rachel that had left the glee room last Friday. She looked hot with those jeans and top that showed just the right amount of her amazing rack. She had also cut her hair and had it curled. She looked stunning and the smile on her face was radiant. As I was watching her I noticed the rest of the male and some of the female population was checking her out too. I didn't like that at all. She was mine and people needed to know that. But the fact was that she wasn't mine. What really shocked me is that she was with Santana and I knew that they weren't the greatest friends. He was standing there expecting her to come up to him and greet him like she did every morning so he was shocked when she walked right past him without even a second glance. He was a little pissed and maybe a little hurt by that. He watched them walk away and as they were walking down the hall Santana looked back and gave him a wink. He wasn't sure what that was about. He then saw Quinn walking down the hall towards them, so when she walked by he grabbed her by the arm.

"Quinn what's going on why wont rach talk to me and what's with the new look?" Noah asked confused.

"What are you talking about Noah I think Rachel looks hot!" Quinn said with an innocent smile on her face.

"Yea she looks great but it's not her and she won't even look at me." Noah exclaimed while getting more annoyed with the blonde.

"Noah you really don't get it do you?" Quinn asked with a sigh.

"Get what I'll I know is ever since she song that song in glee and kept giving me weird looks she won't talk to me and I have no clue why." Noah screamed while running his hand through his strip of hair.

"You are dumber than I thought noah." Quinn said while walking away towards Santana and Rachel.

"Get what?" Noah whispered to himself. He was beyond confused. I just don't get it he thought while walking to class.

Rachel POV

I haven't seen Noah since I sang in glee on Friday then left with Quinn. I don't really want to see him it just reminds me of what I will never have. I spotted him the second I walked through the door he was by his locker waiting for me I assumed. We meet there every morning and have for the past two months. He hadn't seen me yet and I hoped he didn't. I turned and started to talk to Santana hoping to get my mind off of him. When she mentioned something about Jacob and I laughed out loud. He turned around when he heard me. He had a smile on his face and he was gorgeous. It dropped from his face as soon as he saw me. I looked away before he noticed me staring. He was pretty much undressing me with his eyes I could feel it. I knew I that's what I wanted, for him to notice me, I just wish it was because he wanted a relationship with me not a quick lay. I knew it would hurt him but I had to do it so I walked right past him without a second glance. Santana and I were at her locker when I seen him pull Quinn to the side and start throwing questions at her while glancing at me. He didn't look happy, no he looked pissed. I watched the confusion on his face when Quinn walked away shaking her head. When she got to Santana's locker I gave her a questioning look. She just looked at me with a sad smile.

"What did you say to him Quinn?" I said glaring at her.

"Nothing he was asking why you were ignoring him and I said if he didn't get it after the song you song to him then he was dumber than I thought." Quinn said with an innocent smile on her face.

"Quinn please just let it go. I am trying to accept the fact that we will never be a couple and you're not helping." I said with a glare and pleading eyes.

"Okay okay I will leave it alone." Quinn said.

"Good now let's get to class. I can't stand all these stares." I said while looking around and noticing Noah had disappeared.

The day went without any run in's with Noah and for that I was thankful. I went home after school and went straight to my bed. I just wanted to sleep. I was just about sleeping when I got a text. I grabbed my phone and seen it was from Noah. I sighed and opened it up.

N: can I come over we need to talk.

R: no

I didn't know what to say I just knew that this had to end tonight. I didn't want him here I would just hurt more.

N: why not? I wish you would tell me what I did to piss you off. I'm sorry for whatever it is rach.

R: sorry isn't going to help me Noah. Just please don't argue with me I need to do this for me.

N: but does that mean you have to cut me out of your life completely rach? You're my best friend and i'm not willing to give that up.

R: I'm sorry Noah but for now I don't think we can be friends. I'm sorry Noah.

After that last text I shut my phone off. I didn't want to see his response to that it broke my heart even more to do that but I needed to do that for me.

Noah POV

I was in complete shock. I just lost my best friend and I have no clue why. It has to do something to do with that song she sang on Friday. I don't know what that has to do with me though. I was thinking back to that day and I suddenly realized the look that I had seen in her eyes. It was love and it wasn't directed at Finn it was directed at me. She fell in love with me and I had let her go like she was just another fling to me. I had no clue how to fix this now.

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. I LOVE REVIEWS THEY MAKE ME SMILE! =)

HEATHER


	3. Chapter 3

Okay so this takes place when they are in 12th grade. And thanks for all the reviews!

Slow Goodbye Chapter 3

Rachel POV

I was nervous walking in to school the next day. I knew Noah wasn't going to give up easily. He always told me that he would always fight for our friendship no matter what. In a way I kind of wanted him to fight for me. It would show me that he cared. I felt really horrible doing what I did to him over a text. It wasn't right for me to hurt him because he doesn't realize that he hurt me. I wish he would just figure it out. I am so annoyed that he didn't get the message of the song. I looked into his eyes the whole time and I could see the confusion in them. As I was walking I noticed heard music coming from the choir room. I recognized the voice right away. It was Noah.

**What hurts the most **

**Was being so close**

**And having so much to say**

**And watching you walk away**

**And never knowing **

**What could've been **

**And not seeing that loving you**

**Is what I was trying to do**

The music had stopped at that point and I was shaken by the song he was singing. I didn't know that Noah felt that way about anyone at school. He always told me that he wasn't a commitment guy and that he would fall in love. I wonder who it was. It broke my heart knowing that he felt this way about another girl that wasn't me. I walked away not wanting him to notice me standing there. As I was walking down the hall I noticed Quinn and Santana getting to school. I started to walk towards them.

"Hey Quinn, Santana." I said with a fake smile on my face and a wave.

"Hey Rach! What's wrong?" Quinn asked with concern written on her face.

"Huh? Nothing's wrong. I'm great!" I said. She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince them or herself.

"Rachel we can see something is wrong and that smile is as fake as it gets." Santana said with a hand on her hip.

"I heard Noah singing a song about someone. It was that rascal flats song "what hurts the most"; he told me he would never fall in love. Now I'm thinking he meant that he would never fall in love with me. I just can't figure out who he was singing about, because I haven't seen him with any girls." I said with a few silent tears falling down her face.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry." Quinn said while pulling me in for a hug.

"I can't believe I am here still crying over him. I am supposed to be getting over him and I hear him sing one song and I am a mess." I said trying to straighten herself out.

"It's okay Rachel you can cry all you need to. You just told your best friend that you love that you couldn't be his friend anymore because he doesn't feel the same way. You are allowed to cry after that." Santana answered leading Rachel to the parking lot.

"You guys where are we going school is about to start?" I asked with a confused look.

"Well we decided that you need a day off. So we are going to go get a new outfit and then tomorrow at glee we are going to show Noah that you don't mess with one of my best friends and get away with it." Quinn said with a mischievous smile on her face.

"You guys I'm not sure this is such a good idea." I said. She didn't feel good about this at all.

"Come on rach live a little!" Santana said while throwing her arm over my shoulder.

"You know what your right Santana it's time I had some fun. So what did you guys have in mind?" I asked a smile inching its way onto her face.

"Well we were thinking….

That's the last thing that Rachel heard before everything went black.

Noah POV

I got to school early in hopes of seeing Rachel and explaining to her that I wanted her to give me a chance. I think I was in love with her too. I just think that it took me longer to realize then her. I was singing rascal flats song "what hurts the most", I wished Rachel was here to hear me. I miss her already. It had been less than a week since she stopped talking to me. I miss her voice, her smile, making her laugh, but most of all I just missed being with her. I have to talk to her but after the way I brushed her off on Friday I don't know if she is going to forgive me. I hadn't seen her all day. Quinn and Santana were missing to. I figured that they must have skipped today, which I am shocked by because I always tried to get Rachel to skip with me but she would never budge. Something about messing up her perfect attendance. It was the end of the school day and I was on my way home when I got a phone call. I looked at the caller ID and noticed that it was Finn. I picked it up.

"Finn what's up?" I asked.

"Noah you need to come to the hospital now. There has been an accident." Finn said with a shaky voice.

"Finn who is it?" I said. He was panicking inside. I hope Rachel was alright and my mom and sister.

"Noah just please come." Finn pleaded with me.

"FINN FUCKING TELL ME WHO IT IS?" I screamed at the while hitting my steering wheel.

"Noah its Quinn, Santana, and…" Finn started, but I didn't let him finish.

"Finn tell me Rachel wasn't with them. Tell me she is at home sick. I need to know that she is okay." I whispered tears starting to fall down my face.

"Noah Rachel was with them. Quinn and Santana are okay but R-R-Rachel," Finn started to choke up at that point.

"Finn just tell me she is fine." I screamed.

"Noah they don't know if she is going to make it." Finn cried.

I didn't know what to do. I was driving tears streaming down my face. I couldn't lose her. Not when I just realized that I was in love with my best friend. And she didn't even know it yet.

Okay so that's it for now! Tell me what you think…. =)

Heather


	4. Chapter 4

As you may already know…I don't own glee…=)

ENJOY and remember reviews make me smile!

Slow Goodbye Chapter 4

Noah POV

I ran into the hospital panicking. I didn't know if Rachel was going to be okay or if she was going to…I couldn't even say the word it hurt too much to even think about. Rachel had in these last few months become one of the most important people in my life. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. I came running around the corner of the emergency room where I spotted Quinn, Finn, and Santana. Once the girls saw me the both scowled at me.

"Finn I thought I told you not to call him?" Quinn said the venom noticeable in her voice.

"I'm sorry Quinn but it's his best friend he has the right to know that she may not survive the night." Finn said looking down.

"FINN you take that back she will survive she will. Rachel is strong and we are going to New York together next year. She will fight this; I can't lose her she is my best friend." Quinn yelled with tears streaming down her face.

Finn gathered Quinn in his arms and rocked her while she cried.

"Quinn, Santana can one of you please tell me what happened?" I whispered.

"Why do you care Puck it's not that you give a shit about her anyways?" Quinn spit at me finally looking up from Finns shoulder.

"I do care for her Quinn. She is my best friend. And these last few days without her have been horrible. So don't fucking tell me I don't care about Rachel because I do." I said with trying to be as calm as possible.

"Yea well you sure have a funny way of showing it Puck." Quinn answered.

I noticed that Santana hadn't said much she just sat in her chair crying silently to herself.

"What you don't want to yell at me to Santana tell me how much of a fuck up I am? Tell me that I don't give a shit about Rachel?" I said looking at her.

"No because even if you just realized it, I know that you are in love with Rachel. I can see it in your eyes every time you look at her. You never looked at me that way or any other girl for that matter." Santana answered.

"Your right Santana I am in love with her. And now she may never know that. It took her to be lying in her death bed for me to figure it out. How do you think that makes me feel? If you're thinking a complete ass well you nailed it." Noah screamed pacing back and forth the waiting room.

"Why haven't you guys tried to get information on her yet?" I asked annoyed that we still haven't seen a doctor or even a nurse.

"We have Noah; they won't give us any information. We are not family. We have to wait till Rachel's dads are here. It's going to be at least an hour so you might want to sit down." Quinn said with a sigh.

I could feel her staring at me trying to see the truth in what I said.

"You can stop trying to figure me out Quinn. I love her and yes I know she loves me too." I said looking down at my hands.

Quinn looked away and rested her head on Finn's shoulder. I knew she believed me, if she didn't she would have got up and told me to leave by now. I was sitting there waiting when I noticed Rachel's dad's walking into the waiting room. I jumped up as did everyone else. I can't believe it had already been an hour. I was so lost in my head that I completely lost track of time.

"Quinn, Noah where is she?" Her daddy Greg asked with tear stained eyes.

"We don't know Mr. Berry, they won't tell us anything we are not family." Quinn answered the tears reappearing in her eyes.

"Okay we are going to go figure out how she is doing we will be back with news as soon as possible." Her dad Paul said with a nod.

They began to walk towards the front desk. They were talking to the nurse when I heard a cry and I saw Greg fall into Paul's arms sobbing. I thought the worst. I fell to my knees, I started to cry. I didn't know what to do. Everything went blank after that.

Rachel POV

I don't know where I am. I just remember being in the car with Santana and Quinn, talking about how I was going to make Noah jealous. Noah he was here with me. But I couldn't seem to get to him. The faster I ran towards him the brighter the light got and the farther away he seemed to be. I don't know where I am all I know is that I want to go home and to find Noah. I heard someone calling my name. I couldn't figure out who it was.

"Rachel, honey please wake up." I heard the person calling.

Daddy. I knew it was him I could tell by his voice. I wanted to say something but when I opened my mouth I couldn't find the words.

"Rach please wake up I need you." I heard another person calling. It was a girl. She sounded so sad.

"Please Rach." I heard her say again. Quinn it had to be Quinn I knew she said that to me all the time. It was her way of getting me to do what she wanted.

I wanted to pull myself out of this fog and tell them that I was here and that I loved them. I was disappointed. I didn't hear Noah's voice. I should have known that he wouldn't care. That's when I heard it. It was so soft I almost missed it. But it was him I know it was. He came. He must care if he came.

"Rach please come back to me." I heard him whisper.

I fought harder now to get out of this place. I wasn't going towards the light. I was going towards the voices that were out there. That is where I belong. I fought harder to try to say something. When I finally did it was just one word.

"Noah."

Noah POV

I woke up lying on a bed. What was I doing here? Then everything came rushing back to me. Rachel she is, she's, dead. That's what the doctor told her father's that's why they reacted the way they did. I looked around the room but no one was there. I figured they would all be with Rachel's dads. I got out of bed. I had to be there too. I wanted to say goodbye. I walked out into the waiting room, I was shocked when I seen Quinn, Santana, and Finn there. But what really shocked me is that the rest of the glee club was there too. As I walked closer Finn and Quinn walked closer to me.

"Noah, how are you doing?" Quinn asked softly with concern on her face.

"Like shit. So where are Rachel's dads? Are they with her? Can I go say goodbye?" I said trying to keep myself together.

"Goodbye? Why would you say goodbye?" Quinn asked looking confused.

"I want to say goodbye to Rachel. I know she isn't coming back but I still need to have this closure." I said. I was confused didn't they want the same?

"Noah do you think Rachel is dead?" Quinn asked softly.

"I don't think Quinn I know. I seen the way her dad's reacted. She is gone and I didn't even get to tell her I loved her." I said finally letting go of my tears.

"Noah come with me please, I have to show you something." Quinn said taking my hand and leading me down a hallway.

"Quinn where are we going?" I asked.

"Please just follow me Noah." Quinn said while directing me down another hallway.

I followed her to the end of a hallway. I didn't know where we were going or what we were doing. We finally stopped in front of a room.

"Quinn who's room is this?" I asked but before she could respond I seen Rachel's dad coming out of the room. They looked up and said we could go in now. I didn't know what to think. I wanted to do this but now I'm not sure I'm ready. Quinn tugged on my hand and dragged me in the room. I heard the machines beeping. I looked up sharply at the sound. Wait if she was gone the machine would be off right? She wasn't dead. No she was still alive and here with me. I could still tell her I loved her. I looked down at Quinn with questions in my eyes. She just nodded and all of them were answered. We took seats next to her bed and we both grabbed her hand. Quinn started talking to her first.

"Rach please wake up I need you." Quinn said while squeezing her hand.

"Please Rach" She said again the tears now starting to fall.

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to say so much to her but I wanted her to be awake when I said it. So I said the only thing that came to my mind.

"Rach please come back to me." I whispered choking up a sob.

All I could do now was wait. I felt something squeeze my hand. I thought I was imagining it until I felt it again. I looked up at Rachel and seen her eyes fluttering open. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest. She was waking up. She heard me. I was staring at her when she tried to talk. But she only got one thing out and it made me think there was still hope.

"Noah." She whispered.

Okay that's it for now. Tell me what you think! =)


	5. Chapter 5

You know this by now but just in case you forgot I'll tell you again! I OWN NOTHING!

Slow Goodbye Chapter 5

Noah POV

She said my name. She woke up and the first thing on her mind was me. I'm the first thing that she thought of. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She asked for water. Quinn went and got her some water while I sat with her. She wouldn't look at me which I was confused by. I didn't want to bring anything up considering the state she was in. Quinn came back in the room with water and Rachel smiled and thanked her. She then looked at me. I wish I could say that I seen love in her eyes but all I seen was anger.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked while glaring at me.

"Rach I'm here because you're my best friend and you almost died. Where else would I be?" I asked with confusion.

By now she had pulled her hand away from mine. I didn't know what to think one second she was saying my name, now she is back to hating me. I should have known she wasn't going to forgive me so easily.

"Yea well thanks for coming but you can leave now. I told you that I couldn't be your friend anymore. Why don't you go find that girl you were singing about the earlier today?" Rachel said with anger in her voice.

"Rach…" Quinn started but Rachel put her hand up to stop her.

"No, Quinn don't try to make excuses for him. I told him I don't want to see him and that still stands." Rachel screamed.

"Rach can we please just talk. I have some things I need to talk to you about." I practically begged her.

It didn't look like she was going to give in though.

"Puck just go. I'm tired and I don't really want you here." Rachel answered.

It hurt a lot when she called me puck. I don't think she has ever called me puck. She said she wouldn't because it wasn't my given name. Rachel was still glaring at me waiting for me to leave. I slowly stood up and looked at Quinn asking her with my eyes to help me. She just shook her head. I knew she just wanted to protect Rachel. And I could understand considering what just happened to her. I walked towards the door but before I got there I turned around and look at Rachel. I needed to tell her that I wasn't giving up.

"Rach I will be back. Tomorrow when you have had some rest. I am not giving up on you. I told you I would always be there for you and I plan to do exactly that." I said and with that I walked out the door and out to my car.

I didn't walk past he waiting room. I didn't want to see any of the kids from glee. I just wanted to go home and sleep. It had been a long tough day and now that I know Rachel is going to be okay I have to work on my plan to fix this mess I made.

Wait did she thinks the song I was singing earlier today was about another girl? She heard it. That's why she left school early today I know it is. If I wasn't singing that stupid song she might not be in the hospital right now. It's my fault, all of it.

Rachel POV

I woke up and the first thing I thought of was Noah. I wanted him to be here and now he was here. But then I remembered why I told him we couldn't be friends. I needed him to leave. I told him to leave. The look of hurt that flashed across his face broke my heart. But I knew I needed to do this. For me. I saw him look at Quinn. He wanted her to help him. She looked like she wanted to but I seen her glance at me out of the corner of her eye. When she seen me she just shook her head. Did she know something I didn't? Earlier today she wanted to kick him in the balls, now she was considering helping him? I would just have to ask her when he left. I saw him standing up slowly. He didn't want to leave and I think he wanted me to tell him to stay. I really wanted to yell out to him but I knew I couldn't. He was almost at the door when he turned around and said something that broke my heart even more.

"Rach I will be back. Tomorrow when you have had some rest. I am not giving up on you. I told you I would always be there for you and I plan to do exactly that."

I could feel the tears forming in my eyes but I held them back. I would not cry in front of him I refused.

When he left the room I looked at Quinn with questioning eyes. She seen that and she quickly jumped up.

"Well I think I should go get your dad's!" Quinn said with a smile as she walked towards the door.

"Quinn get back here and SIT DOWN NOW." I screamed while pointing to her chair.

She slowly walked back to her seat and sat.

"What was that look between you and Noah? Earlier you wanted to kill him and now you looked like you wanted to help him convince me to let him stay?" I asked confused.

"Rach maybe you should talk to Noah about this. It's not really my place to say anything. But I will tell you something you have to listen to him ok rach?" Quinn said with pleading eyes.

"Why? Why should I give him the chance? He was only here because he thought I was going to die and he didn't want to feel guilty." I screamed.

"Rach he cares about you more than you think just give him the chance. Promise me you will do that?" Quinn begged me.

"Quinn you know something. What happened when I was out? Please just tell me?" I pleaded with her.

"It's not my place I said, you have to talk to Noah. I'm going to let everyone know you are up I will be back with your dads." Quinn said while quickly escaping the room before I could stop her.

I didn't know what to say. First she tells me to ignore him and show him what he is missing and now she is telling me to give him a chance to explain. Something happened while I was out and I had every intention of figuring out what it was. Also why didn't Noah say anything about the girl he was singing the song about? I just hope he doesn't blame himself for the accident. Because it is not his fault it is the drunk who slammed into us. It was that guys fault and I don't think I could deal with Noah thinking it was his.

Okay that's it for now! I am going to try to update everyday! This will probably only go for a few more chapters. But I'm thinking when this is over I might write a sequel. Not sure yet! Heather P.S. REMEMBER I LOVE REVIEWS!


	6. Chapter 6

I OWN NOTHING! THOUGH YOU KNOW I WISH I DID OWN MARK SALLING MOST DAYS! HECK WHO AM I KIDDING I WISH I OWNED HIM EVERYDAY! =)

Slow goodbye Chapter 6

Noah POV

I was up all night trying to figure out how to win Rachel back. I thought of everything I could do. It was about 2 am when I got a text from Quinn saying.

Q: I'm sure you are thinking of ways to get Rachel back and if you haven't thought of it yet, I will help you along. SING TO HER YOU IDIOT.

I didn't respond to her. I don't know why I didn't think of that. Of course the way to win Rachel Berry's heart would be through music. Well actually I already had her heart now I just had to prove to her that I wouldn't break it again. I had to think about which song I would sing to her that would show her how I felt and how happy I was she was ok. I was flipping through my music when I heard the perfect song. I knew exactly what I would sing to her know I just had to hope that she would forgive me.

Rachel POV

I was up most of the night. I just couldn't sleep. I was so worried that I had sent Noah home with the thought that he was responsible for what had happened to me. I wanted to call him and I almost did a couple of times but then I remembered what had happened and my hand would fall away from the phone. I wanted to forgive I really did but I was afraid my heart would just be broken and I don't think I could take that pain again. My dad and daddy had gone home late that night when they thought I had gone to sleep. The truth is I was faking. I just wanted to be alone and I feel guilty because I knew they were broken up about what had happened but I just wanted to be alone and think this thing through. Eventually I let sleep overcome me and I was grateful for the peace that came with it.

Noah POV

I was on my way up to the hospital with my guitar. I was going to sing to Rachel at the hospital. I was going to speak the language of Rachel Berry and at this point I could only hope she would let me sing before she threw me out. I was approaching her room when I seen her fathers stepping out. They seen me and nodded letting me know I could go in. I knocked lightly on the door and entered when I heard her.

"come in." Rachel said.

When she seen it was me she didn't look happy.

"Just before you kick me out please just hear me out Rachel." I pleaded with her.

"Why should I Puck? Why should I let you say anything? You are only here because you feel pity for me." Rachel screamed.

"Is that really what you think about me? You think that little of me to think that I would do that to you? Well guess what Rachel your wrong. Because you want to know what I came here to say Rachel? I came here to sing to you, hoping that would show you something, that until I thought I lost you I didn't realize. I LOVE YOU Rachel and even though it took me long then either me or you wanted it to take I figured it out. And it killed me inside to think that I figured it out to late and that you would be gone before I could tell you how I feel. When you sang that song I was an idiot who thought you were still hung up on Finn. So that's it Rachel. I've said what I have to so I guess that's all I can do." With that I turned around to leave. I was hoping that after confessing all of that she would stop me but it broke my heart when she let me walk right out of her life without even a fight. I didn't look back because I was afraid she was crying and I don't think I could take her tears. Not again. I was confused though isn't this what she wanted for me to love her? So then why didn't she stop me when I left? So I just walked. I walked straight out of the hospital and I was afraid I walked straight out of Rachel's life. And this time I don't think I am going to be able to find my way back into it.

Rachel POV

I was in shock. Did he just say I love you? I wanted to jump out of this bed and into his arms but something held me back. I don't know what it was. Doubt maybe? Or was I still just afraid to let him in again after what happened. I'm not sure but the hearting breaking look on his face when he gave me one final look and walked out the door and didn't look back once broke my heart and after that I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I heard a knock at the door and my eyes snapped up hoping to see Noah standing there but was disappointed when it was just Quinn.

"Hi Rachel. How are you feeling?" Quinn asked while walking to my bed. That's when she noticed the tears falling down my face.

"Rach what's wrong are you in pain? Are you okay? Should I get the nurse?" She was practically screaming at that point.

"No I'm not in pain, don't get the nurse and no I'm not okay." I answered slowly trying to get it all out without falling apart again.

"Then what's wrong rach?" Quinn asked looking almost confused.

"Noah was here and…." I was starting to fall apart again I could feel it "…he told me he loves me." I rushed out.

"Oh my rach that is GREAT!" Quinn almost screamed with a huge smile on my face. It fell quickly when she seen how upset I still look.

"I let him leave. I didn't stop him Q. He told me he loved me and I just let him walk out. Something in me stopped me from stopping him. I don't know what I did Q. This is what I wanted from the start. For him to love me like I love him. So why did I just let him walk out Q? I messed this up even more then it already was and when he walked out that door Q he looked so heartbroken that I don't think he is coming back. I think this time I lost him forever Q. And now I feel like I cant breath…." With that my world went black and that last this I heard was Quinn yelling.

"Rachel, RACHEL someone please help she's not breathing."

Noah POV

I was driving when I got a text from Quinn. I didn't know whether to answer it or to just ignore it. I figured I probably should considering she was at the hospital with Rachel. I looked at the text and all the blood drained from my face when I read it.

Q: Noah you need to get up here right now Rachel stopped breathing. Please hurry.

I couldn't think for a second then I realized what I just read. I turned my car around and raced back to the hospital. Hoping by the time I got there I wouldn't be too late.

Well that's is for now. R&R.

The idea for the serenading that was suppose to happen at the hospital was not mine but was aussietash that suggested it so I went with it. I know it didn't happen in this chapter but it might in the next one! I just wanted to give credit where it is deserved!

Heather


	7. Author Note

Just wanted to let all you readers of this VERY SLOW moving story out there that I will be continuing this story I have just had very bad writers block and I have had some very hard family things going on.. So I will be continuing just be on the look out for chapter 7! I'm hoping to have it up within the next week or so!

Thank you for all the reviews and favorites!

Heather S.


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